the Good Version of Season 8
by Disco-Freak
Summary: Well, this is my version of Season 8. In my opinion, this is how it should have gone, and the real version should have been flushed down a toilet. Hope you like it! Chapter 3 is up!
1. Shoot to Thrill

**_NOTE: I do not own the show, or any parts of it. Season 8 has already finished and there is nothing I can do about it. So, I am going to rewrite the disaster that ended the series._**

**Shoot to Thrill**

_(Jackie and Hyde are standing in the motel room where Hyde has just found her cheating on him with Kelso end of season 7 remember, Hyde had just stolen Kelso's towel and was very pissed at Jackie...)_

**Hyde:**What the hell, Jackie!

**Jackie:**Steven, I...

**Hyde:**Don't make excuses. I hadn't given you an answer yet, so you ran off and cheated with Kelso?

**Jackie:**It's not like that Steven!

**Hyde:**_(sarcastically) _Oh, well I guess it's okay then.

**Jackie:**I thought it was over between us, so I left early. And then Michael showed up, and one thing led to another, and...

**Hyde:**You expect me to believe that load of crap?

**Jackie:**Yes, Steven, because it's the truth!

**Hyde:**Have fun with Kelso. _(Kelso's head pokes through the door)_

**Kelso:**_(his eyes light up) _Really?

**Hyde:**Whatever. _(starts to leave)_

**Jackie:**Steven, wait! _(silence)_

**Kelso:**Hey, uhh, Hyde? Can I have my towel back?

opening credits/commercial

_(Scene opens to the Forman kitchen, where Red and Kitty sit at the kitchen table. Red is reading the newspaper and Kitty sits crying with a box of tissues in front of her)_

**Kitty:**Well, I hope you're happy Red Forman. My baby has left us for Africa. There are diseases there, and you know that he can't swallow a pill!

**Red:**Actually Kitty, I am happy. It's about time the boy left. Besides, I was out of my parents' house by the time I was 18, and I was going to fight a damn war in Korea. This could actually make Eric a man. And just think: now that he's gone, we have the whole upstairs to ourselves!

**Kitty:**Hahaha! _(they run upstairs)_

scene cuts and goes to the basement

_(Hyde sits in his chair, Fez sits about a foot away from the television, and Donna, Jackie and Kelso all sit on the couch. It's dead silent.)_

**Fez:**There is nothing on television. If you need me, I will be reading Eric's magazines and drinking Hyde's beer. Good day.

**Hyde:**Fez, I need that beer.

**Fez:**I said 'Good day'.

**Kelso:**There is nothing on T.V. Oh! Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a show where this really pretty guy did it with hot girls?

_(Scene fades and goes to a fantasy. Hyde is sitting by himself in the basement and turns on the T.V. The show starts with a disco number and Kelso is sitting behind a lemonade stand with the word 'lemonade' crossed out and replaced with the word 'IT'. Kelso is making out with Jackie. Behind them is a huge line of hot girls waiting for their turn.)_

**Kelso:**_(smiling and laughing) _Yeah, me and Jackie would be on that show all the time.

**Hyde:**_(lunges at Kelso and pushes him off the couch; starts punching him)_

**Kelso:**Ow, Hyde! That's my eye!

**Donna:**_(raises her eyebrows) _No kidding, Kelso.

**Hyde:**Maybe that'll teach you not to mess around with Jackie.

**Kelso:**Probably not.

**Hyde:**_(punches him again and storms out of the room)_

**Kelso:**My eye! _(runs out of the room and slams the door)_

**Jackie:**Why is Steven actin glike this? It's not like he never cheated on me.

**Donna:**Well, Jackie, maybe it's because he trusted you.

**Jackie:**Why would he trust me? I lie.

**Donna:**Why do you think he went to Chicago in the first place?

**Jackie:**_(is quiet for a second) _Oh my gosh! Steven was going to propose!

**Donna:**Well not now that you've cheated on him.

**Jackie:**What do you know, Bigfoot? _(runs off to find Hyde)_

commercial

_(scene opens and Hyde is sitting in the kitchen with Red and Kitty)_

**Hyde:**Mrs. Forman? Were you ever going to do something, but then not because of something else that happened?

**Kitty:**Oh, Steven. Of course I have. Everybody has.

**Hyde:**Could you, maybe give and example?

**Red:**Now, why the hell would you ask that question?

**Hyde:**I dunno.

**Red:**Well you'd better decide soon, or you're going to end up as chief dumbass.

**Kitty:**Red. I thought that since now my baby is gone, you would stop calling people that name, but apparently not.

**Red:**Kitty, Eric wasn't the only dumbass in this town.

**Hyde:**Did you meet any in Korea?

**Red:**Of course I did. They were everywhere. Not anymore though. _(laughs)_

**Kitty:**_(forcefully laughs and walks out of the room)_

**Hyde:**Well that gave me answers. _(walks out the back door)_

scene cuts and goes to the basement

_(Hyde is sitting alone in the basement reading a comic book)_

**Jackie:**_(walks in)_ Hey Steven.

**Hyde:**_(not looking up from the comic book) _Go away.

**Jackie:**Steven, I'm really sorry.

**Hyde:**_(still not looking up) _Great.

**Jackie:**Steven, what happened before, it shouldn't have happened.

**Hyde:**_(looking up) _Then why did it?

**Jackie:**Steven, I love you. And, I want to get married, and now I know that you are the one for me. The only one.

**Hyde:**Yeah, well –

**Jackie:**_(cuts him off and kisses him; they break apart)_

**Hyde:**Fine.

**Jackie:**What?

**Hyde:**We'll get married.

**Jackie:**Oh my gosh! Steven! You just said we could get married! Don't you dare deny it! I know you did!

**Hyde:**If you bug me, it won't happen. I love you Jackie. _(they start making out; Kelso and Donna walk in)_

**Donna:**Hyde, what the hell! _(Jackie and Hyde break apart again)_

**Jackie:**Donna! I'm getting married!

**Kelso:**To who?

**Jackie:**To Steven!

**Kelso:**Ugh! _(storms out of the room)_

**Hyde:**Yeah, I figure, the sooner I get my life over with, the sooner I die. May as well.

**Donna:**Huh.

**Hyde:**I think we need to celebrate a bit.

cut to circle

**Hyde:**What a great celebration.

**Jackie:**Does this mean that we do this everyday?

**Hyde:**_(his mouth is open)_ I'm liking this marriage more and more.

**Donna:**More and more. I'm liking this chocolate bar more and more. I think I could jsut eat more and more chocolate bars!

**Jackie:**Don't eat that Donna. If you're going to be in my wedding, you will need to look pretty. Oh but not as pretty as me. I'm getting married!

commercial

_(credits open in the Forman living room with Fez eating candy and reading porn magazines)_

**Fez:**I wish those was real. Then I could touch them. I love boobs. And candy. And sex. I wish I was getting some. _(looks to the sky) _Why can't I get any?

**Red:**_(walks in)_ I would have thought that when Eric left, the rest of these idiots would to. But no, they won't leave. Just like in Korea.

end of show


	2. Whole Lotta Love

**_NOTE: I do not own the show, or any parts of it. Season 8 has already finished and there is nothing I can do about it. So, I am going to rewrite the disaster that ended the series._**

**Whole Lotta Love**

_(scene opens with the Kelso, Hyde, and Fez in the basement)_

**Kelso:**I seriously can't believe you're marrying Jackie, man. I mean really, why would she want to marry you? She's dated such better guys, like me for instance.

**Fez:**She is marrying Hyde because he is a tough man on the outside, but a crying boy on the inside. _(he turns to Hyde) _She is the only one other than me who has found your inner feelings!

**Hyde:**_(very zen) _Fez, I have no inner feelings, or emotions, or whatever crap you still think I have.

**Kelso:**Well, Hyde, I think you have feelings for Jackie, and they should not be displayed publicly!

**Fez:**I have feelings for Jackie.

**Kelso:**_(pissed off at both Hyde and Fez now) _Now's really not the time to speak Fez. This is between me and Hyde. Not you and Jackie, or you and Caroline, or you and any other chick that you have liked, do like, or will like.

**Fez:**Fine then. I will leave. _(starts to get up)_ Actually, I do not really want to leave. I think I will stay here. _(sits back down)_

**Hyde:**Kelso, Jackie and I are getting married whether you like it or not.

**Kelso:**Man, yesterday, you weren't even together. Now, you are getting married. You're making a huge, butt-ugly mistake. I would have tried to get married to Brooke, but that wouldn't have been the right thing to do.

**Hyde:**I'm doing the right thing Kelso. If this is what it takes to have us be together, then this is what I'll do.

**Fez:**Do you think that if I got married to Jackie, then I could be with her?

**Hyde/Kelso:**_(together) _No.

**Fez:**Then why does it work for you, Hyde?

**Kelso:**Because he _loves_ her!

**Hyde:**Shut up.

**Kelso:**You _love _her!

**Hyde:**_(pushes Kelso off the couch, Kelso hits his head on the table)_

**Kelso:**Damn Hyde, that's my eye! I'm calling Brooke. She'll make me feel better.

**Fez:**Oh, you poor, poor bastard.

opening credits/commercial

_(scene opens in the Forman kitchen with Red, Kitty, Jackie, Donna, and Hyde at the kitchen table. Red is in a very bad mood)_

**Red:**I can't believe you idiots decided to get married.

**Jackie:**Isn't it great?

**Kitty:**I think it's wonderful for the two of you. But, there's something that you haven't discussed yet, that I would like to see Jackie!

**Jackie:**What are you talking about, Mrs. Forman?

**Donna:**_(catching on)_ Yeah, Jackie, I would have been expecting more from an engaged woman with a lot of money, such as yourself.

**Jackie:**Why are you acting so weird, Donna? I mean, weirder than usual.

**Donna:**Don't you think you're missing something about your childhood engagement fantasies?

**Hyde:**_(realizes what he's forgotten)_ Uh oh.

**Red:**You're right uh oh. Thank God I'm not you, or I'd have Jackie's foot crammed up my ass.

**Donna:**_(holds out her hands, as if to give a hint to Jackie)_

**Jackie:**Yeah Donna, you are definitely going to need a manicure if you want to be in my wedding. But, you're going to have to do that on your own time, not mine. _ (turns her attention to Mrs. Forman, who is looking at her sadly)_ What?

**Kitty:**The ring, sweetie.

**Jackie:**_(casually looks at her hand, as if there were an engagement ring on it. She doesn't see a ring, and jumps out of her chair, horrified)_ Oh my god! I'm getting married and I have no ring! Steven! How could you?

**Red:**_(starts to laugh)_ Good going dumbass. _(he leaves)_

**Kitty:**_(watches Red leave and quickly gets up)_ Well, I'll let you two sort this out. _(she runs out of the room)_

**Donna:**_(pauses for a second) _Oh, what's that Dad? Dinner's ready? Bye guys!

**Hyde:**Donna, it's only ten o'clock.

**Donna:**I don't want to be here for this, Hyde. _ (she runs out of the room as well)_

**Jackie:**Steven, where is my ring? If I am getting married, I need my ring.

**Hyde:**But Jackie –

**Jackie:**Go get me a ring.

**Hyde:**But I –

**Jackie:**NOW! Or I'm coming with you.

**Hyde:**Fine. _(leaves the room and heads towards his car)_

**Jackie:**_(shouting) _It had better be big. _(puts her head in her hands and stares at the table)_

scene cuts and goes to the library

_(Kelso is standing at the counter looking bored. There is a new girl working at the counter)_

**Kelso:**_(as if her were continuing a conversation with the girl)_ So, that's why I need you to tell me Brooke's new phone number.

**Girl:**Yeah, I'd tell you, but do you have any idea how many people have told me that they have had a kid with her, and then lost her phone number?

**Kelso:**No. How many?

**Girl:**At least ten.

**Kelso:**_(amazed) _Wow. That's one busy chick. Wait. No, I seriously had a kid with her!

**Girl:**Sorry. I can't give you the number.

**Kelso:**No, her name is Betsy, and she's a girl, and umm, Brooke got pregnant when we did it at the Molly Hatchet concert!

**Girl:**I don't believe you.

**Kelso:**Fine! Then I am going to have to talk to your manager.

**Girl:**I am the manager.

**Kelso:**I want to talk to my daughter and the woman that I knocked up! Give me the number!

**Girl:**I just can't give that to you.

**Kelso:**Fine! Then can I have yours?

**Girl:**_(looks totally disgusted) _No!

**Kelso:**Fine!_ (storms out of the library, but is stopped with the librarian yelling at him)_

**Girl:**You have to check out the Playboy's before you can leave.

**Kelso:**Fine!_ (goes back to the counter and hands them to her) _Now check them out please!

**Girl:**Okay. _(she checks them out for him)_ Here you go. I don't want to see you in the library again.

**Kelso:**Fine!_ (angrily leaves the library)_

cut to commercial

_(Hyde is in the jewellery store with Fenton, looking at rings. Fenton is trying them on)_

**Fenton:**You say she needs a diamond?

**Hyde:**We're getting engaged. What do you think?

**Fenton:**A diamond it is then. What is your price range?

**Hyde:**Umm, what's your price range?

**Fenton:**It all depends on the girl. Unless it's not.

**Hyde:**_(weirded out)_ It's a girl.

**Fenton:**What is she like?

**Hyde:**Bossy, snobby, pushy, and bitchy.

**Fenton:**Tell me, why are you marrying her again?

**Hyde:**She's sexy.

**Fenton:**Then my price range is much too high for you. Come back with this girl, and we will decide later.

**Hyde:**No. You don't understand. I need this ring now.

**Fenton:**Why?

**Hyde:**I just do, okay?

**Fenton:**Oh. Did someone make a booboo?

**Hyde:**_(raises an eyebrow)_ No. I just need the ring now! _(Fez walks in)_

**Fez:**Hello, Hyde. I heard about your problem with _(he sees Fenton and gives him an evil glare)_, Jackie, yes, yes it was Jackie.

**Fenton:**So you did make a booboo.

**Hyde:**_(loosing his zen) _For the last time I did not make a mistake! I just need to buy this stupid ring now!

**Fez:**But Hyde, I thought that you forgot to give Jackie her –

**Hyde:**_(phony laugh)_ What did I forget, Fez? I forgot nothing. _(looks at him menacingly)_ Go home, Fez.

**Fez:**Ai, you're no fun._ (Fez exits the scene)_

**Fenton:**Let me get this straight. You didn't give a ring to the woman you are marrying, and now she told you to go buy a ring.

**Hyde:**That sounds about right.

**Fenton:**This is why I strayed from women.

**Hyde:**_(freaked out)_ That's it. I'm going to another store. _(Hyde leaves)_

**Fenton:**And, there goes another one.

scene cuts and goes to the basement

_(scene opens with the guys and Donna in a circle)_

**Donna:**I can't believe you didn't get her a ring. She's going to flip!

**Hyde:**Well, what was I supposed to do? The guy was creeping me out. I couldn't take a minute more of him.

**Fez:**You are supposed to choose your undying love for Jackie over that selfish man, and buy her the ring of her dreams.

**Kelso:**I miss when I dated Jackie. She seemed so much nicer then.

**Donna:**I miss Eric. Why'd he have to go to Africa?

**Hyde:**He went to Africa to escape the new laws that the government are throwing on us, and taking away our free will.

**Donna:**No Hyde. That's why you'd go to Africa.

**Hyde:**I should go to Africa.

**Fez:**I've been to Africa.

**Hyde:**Is that where you're from?

**Fez:**You don't know the name of my foreign land yet? You are not real friends at all. _(he leaves the circle)_

**Kelso:**Man, I wish I lived in Africa. There are monkeys there. Oh! Wouldn't it be cool if we hung out with a monkey?

**Hyde:**We already do, Kelso.

**Kelso:**Burn!

**Donna:**I'm going to call Eric. _(she leaves)_

**Hyde:**I have to go buy a damn ring for Jackie. I can't believe this. Leaving the circle for a chick. It's unheard of, man!

**Kelso:**Yeah. I used to have to do that all the time when I was dating Jackie. But most of it was so that I could do it with her.

**Hyde:**_(punches Kelso)_

**Kelso:**Damn it, Hyde!

scene cuts/commercial

_(scene opens with Fez standing in the library with the girl)_

**Fez:**I heard you wouldn't give my friend his daughter's telephone number.

**Girl:**Nope.

**Fez:**Good job. You resisted a Kelso. It has not been done by very many people.

**Girl:**Yeah well. It wasn't very hard.

**Fez:**_(his jaw drops) _You are amazing! Do you want to do it?

**Girl:**_(looks alarmed) _What?

**Fez:**_(talking to himself) _That was silly Fez. Of course she does not want to do it with you. You are not married. _(he turns back to the girl)_ Will you marry me?

**Girl:**Eww! No! Get out of here!

End of show


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Okay. So, I haven't forgotten about my story. Eventually, the third chapter will be up, along with a fourth and fifth, and so on. But, I'm having writer's block right now, and it's really hard to come up with idea, considering the route that I've taken this. So, if you guys have any ideas for me, it would be greatly appreciated, and unless the idea given is completely insanely bad, then I will end up using it, whether it be in the third chapter, or the eleventh. So, ya, it would be awesome if you guys could help me out in the review section, but leave you pen name, or your real name so that I can write that it was your idea, not mine in the disclaimer section. Thanks for you wonderful help!

Brie


	4. Do You Believe in Magic?

**_NOTE: I do not own the show, or any parts of it. Season 8 has already finished and there is nothing I can do about it. So, I am going to rewrite the disaster that ended the series._**

**Do You Believe in Magic?**

_(scene opens with Bob and Donna in their living room)_

**Donna:**_(looking depressed)_ There's nothing to do in this town.

**Bob:**Well pumpkin, you've always got me to hang around with.

**Donna:**No thanks, Dad. I need Eric. I miss him.

**Bob:**You don't need Eric, honey. He made your life miserable. Remember when he didn't show up for your wedding? Wasn't that mean?

**Donna:**Well yeah, but he was so sweet.

**Bob:**I'm sweet, but you don't date me.

**Donna:**_(laughing)_You're my dad. It doesn't work that way.

**Bob:**Donna, you need to learn to get over people. Like that pig Eric for example.

**Donna:**Dad! Eric's not a pig!

**Bob:**I noticed that when you were dating him, you were dirtied up quite a bit. It was his doing, I can tell you that.

**Donna:**I can't talk to you! _(she leaves)_

**Bob:**_(sighs)_ I need cake.

**Jackie:**_(walks in and rolls her eyes at Bob)_ Only fat people need cake.

**Bob:**What do you want this time?

**Jackie:**I want Steven.

**Bob:**Huh. I don't know where he is right now.

**Jackie:**Oh.

**Bob:**But, I'll help you find him if you do me a favour.

**Jackie:**No!

**Bob:**Why not?

**Jackie:**Because favours are for **poor** people.

**Bob:**Suit yourself. _(he opens the fridge)_ Damn. No cake. _(he turns to Jackie)_ Do you know if the Formans have any cake?

**Jackie:**Look Mr. Pinciotti, **I** don't care about **your** problems. The only person I worry about is **me**. And I want Steven! _(storms out)_

**Bob:**_(ignores all of this)_ I'm going to see if Kitty made any cake this morning.

opening credits/commercial

_(scene opens in the basement with Kelso and Fez sitting on the couch eating popsicles)_

**Kelso:**I like popsicles. But I don't get it. How did they get the little stick inside the popsicle part?

**Fez:**You are asking me? I was not born in America. You people do strange things.

**Kelso:**_(playing with one of Eric's old action figures, and dropping it on the popsicle)_ Man, What are you talking about? We don't do strange things. **No**!

**Fez:**What?

**Kelso:**My popsicle broke!

**Jackie:**_(walks in)_ Have you two seen Steven?

**Kelso:**Why would we?

**Jackie:**Because he's **always** here.

**Kelso:**Not always.

**Jackie:**Well, where is he?

**Kelso:**I don't know.

**Jackie:**You don't know anything. _(she sees a folded up piece of paper on the table)_ Hey! This says Jackie on it! And it's in Steven's writing! Oh my gosh, what if the wedding is off because Steven is afraid of commitment?

**Fez:**Jackie, if your wedding with Hyde is not going to happen, can we do it?

**Jackie:**No.

**Fez:**Pretty please?

**Jackie:**No. I need to go find Donna. _(she picks up the note and runs off)_

**Fez:**Why won't she ever do it with me?

**Kelso:**I don't know. She did it all the time with me, but now I'm a little scared of asking her. She's always got Hyde hitting me, you know?

**Fez:**Yes. Why does Hyde never hit me?

**Kelso:**I don't know. Maybe because you're a pervert or something.

**Fez:**That is true.

scene cuts and goes to Donna's bedroom

_(Donna and Jackie are sitting on Donna's bed with the folded note sitting between them)_

**Donna:**Jackie, why don't you just open it?

**Jackie:**What if Steven is breaking up with me, and then I won't get married? If I never read it, then he can't break up.

**Donna:**And what if he's not breaking up with you?

**Jackie:**Maybe he's saying that he's still not ready to get married. What if he can't afford a ring still?

**Donna:**Do you want me to open it?

**Jackie:**No!

**Donna:**Then open it!

**Jackie:**Fine, but I'm reading it to you so that you can cry with me if I have to.

**Donna:**Why would you cry? We pretty much know he's not gonna break up with you.

**Jackie:**What do you know? You're wearing flannel.

**Donna:**What does flannel have to do with this?

**Jackie:**If you weren't wearing flannel, I would have already opened this thing and I would be fully concentrated on myself, not your dumb fashion problem.

**Donna:**Jackie, I am opening the note. _(she reaches for it but is slapped by Jackie)_

**Jackie:**I'll do it. It's mine. _(she opens it and starts to read)_

_Meet me at Inspiration Point tonight at 9:00_

_I have something for you, but I didn't know where to give it to you_

_Bring your old car - Steven_

**Donna:**That's it?

**Jackie:**Why would I bring my old car? I haven't used that in ages. Why can't I bring the new one?

**Donna:**I don't know.

**Jackie:**Oh my gosh. Inspiration Point was where Steven and I had our first date! I need to look three years younger!

**Donna:**You look fine.

**Jackie:**What do you know? You're wearing plaid.

**Donna:**You're wearing flowers.

**Jackie:**Donna, these flowers are adorable. You couldn't pull it off.

**Donna:**I could too!

**Jackie:**No you couldn't. Just picture it. _(a photograph of Donna is shown. She is wearing a poufy dress with ugly orange flowers on it)_

**Donna:**That's it, I need more flannel.

cut to commercial

_(scene opens in the Forman living room with Red and Kitty watching Happy Days on television. Red is not happy)_

**Red:**Why is that pansy-ass kid, friends with the kid wearing leather? I would expect him to be alone in his mother's house, living off his parents and not having any real friends.

**Kitty:**I like Fonzie. He's just so darn cute in that outfit! _(she laughs)_

**Red:**What is the point of watching this, Kitty?

**Kitty:**The point is that these kids are just like the ones in our basement.

**Red:**So why are we watching this? Couldn't we just watch the dumbasses in our basement, and not waste our money on electricity to run this television?

**Kitty:**The kids aren't in the basement right now.

**Red:**_(smiles at Kitty)_And they aren't upstairs either.

**Kitty:**_(laughs as they both run upstairs, but Kitty runs back down and turns off the television)_ He's right about that electricity thing. _(she runs back upstairs)_

cut to commercial

_(scene opens with Jackie sitting on the front of her car on Inspiration Point, Hyde walks up and sits down beside her)_

**Hyde:**Hey.

**Jackie:**_(quickly)_Why am I here?

**Hyde:**Because I owe you a ring.

**Jackie:**Wait, so we're still getting married?

**Hyde:**Umm, yeah. Unless you don't want to.

**Jackie:**Oh my gosh, I do!

**Hyde:**_(a bit confused) _Okay. So, I asked Red for a loan so that I could get you a ring. Turns out, he kept all the money I ever gave him and put it in an account for me. So, I got you the ring. _(he holds out a ring box to her)_

**Jackie:**_(she opens the box and stares at the ring)_ It's beautiful!

**Hyde:**It's big.

**Jackie:**I love it! _(she puts it on)_

**Hyde:**Oh yeah. I checked my calendar. How about April 18th?

**Jackie:**For what?

**Hyde:**For our wedding.

**Jackie:**_(silent for a minute)_ But that's in two months!

**Hyde:**Yeah. I figure that I'm going to go crazy during the plans for this whole thing, so we should have it soon.

**Jackie:**Soon is good.

**Hyde:**Yes it is. _(they kiss)_

**Jackie:**_(Jackie breaks off and looks at the ring)_ April 18th.

**Hyde:**I love you Jackie.

**Jackie:**I love me too. But likewise. _(they kiss)_

cut to commercial

_(scene opens with Donna, Red and Kitty sitting in the Forman living room. Everything is dead silent until Donna opens her mouth)_

**Donna:**Should I go to college?

**Kitty:**Well dear, it all depends on what you want to do. You see, if you want to be one of those feminists that you are always with, you need college to try and persuade the government.

**Red:**Kitty, there's no way the government is going to give up men's rights for a bunch of uptight women.

**Kitty:**Uptight?

**Red:**Not you, dear.

**Kitty:**I should become a feminist.

**Donna:**I know! _(the phone starts ringing)_

**Kitty:**I'll get that. _(she runs over to the phone in the kitchen, but the camera is still on Donna and Red in the living room)_

**Donna:**How much money says it's my dad?

**Red:**Every penny.

**Donna:**Really?

**Red:**He's looking for cake.

**Kitty:**_(just getting to the phone)_ Hello? **ERIC**!

**Donna:**Oh my god!

**Red:**Shit.

**Kitty:**You hate Africa? Well Mr. Smarty-pants, I wonder who could have told you that would happen. That would be me.

**Donna:**_(shouts to Mrs. Forman)_ Me too!

**Kitty:**What's that?

**Donna:**What's what?

**Red:**Shut up.

**Kitty:**Okay, well I'll talk to you later then sweetie! Bye bye!

**Donna:**What was that? Tell me, tell me!

**Kitty:**Eric's coming home!

**Donna:**Yay! Screw college! He's coming back!_ (she runs out of the house)_

**Kitty:**My baby's coming home!

**Red:**Damn.

scene cuts to commercial

_(scene opens with all Hyde, Kelso, Fez and Donna in the basement having a circle)_

**Kelso:**I don't get how they get the lead in this pencil!

**Fez:**Me either. It is like voodoo work. Where I come from, voodoo work is done everywhere, and it scares off passing villagers.

**Hyde:**So, you're from India, man?

**Fez:**No, you son of a bitch!

**Donna:**I can't wait until Eric gets back!

**Kelso:**Eric's coming back?

**Fez:**Of course he is. He misses us.

**Hyde:**Plus, he's too much of a mama's boy to stay in a totally different continent.

**Donna:**And he doesn't like spiders.

**Kelso:**He doesn't like spiders?

**Donna:**No. Blow. Snow. Fro. Hyde has a fro.

**Hyde:**Yeah. Did you guys know, that there's a car that runs on water? _(everybody throws stuff at Hyde)_ Water, man!

End of show


End file.
